Volume One
Chapter Seven — Steps to Authenticity
May: Character Assassination
1. The mind wants to classify everything in terms that it can understand. Good and bad are the most basic categories, and all the others stem from that. The mind prefers not to think of itself as bad but will do so in its attempt at fairness. The first target for being categorized as bad is other people. They are bad if they have broken any of the innumerable rules a particular mind subscribes to. If they break these rules or don't subscribe to them to begin with, then they are bad or evil themselves. This is character assassination. One false move and you're dead, so to speak. Characters are branded with the scarlet letter B if they say or do something that is out of step with a singular or collective entity. This can range from breaking a posted rule or mandated law to merely offending the evaluator and everything in between.
2. Both groups and individuals make decisions to exclude others for various violations of ethics or behavior. These can be preemptive strikes to prevent a relationship from even starting with the offending party. This can also happen at any time during a relationship, which can become severely strained or permanently severed. The young and old alike have dead bodies of assassinated characters surrounding them. The lucky have managed to keep them in the past, but many are haunted by these ghosts who are known as shadow figures.
3. The mind becomes angry about nearly everything under the sun that is not the way it thinks it should be. Then it blames everyone near and far for their possible involvement. Characters carry all of this around with them from one day to the next, one year to the next, and one decade to the next. Blame and shame take their toll on a character's health and happiness. If you create your life through reactions (fear) at times and responses (love) at other times, you can see the obvious effects and tolls that they take. Characters receive projected "shame on yous" and somewhere along the line start to believe them. There aren't many characters who don't blame themselves and others for why things didn't happen the way their mind's thoughts said they should have happened.
4. Guidelines:
Pick a time of day that suits you best and read the step that corresponds to the appropriate month and date. This is your starting point. Simply reflect on what the step means to you and ways to put it into practice. Accept whatever feelings come to the surface as you work your way through the steps. These steps are the beginning of a transformation where love replaces fear, which is no easy feat. Be patient with yourself. You are doing what few have ever been able to do. Now you have the means. Just add a little willingness and you will be a more soulful and less ego-driven being in just a year's time. Godspeed.
5. May 1
Character assassination starts with thoughts, so let's start there and let's stay close to home. How have you blamed yourself for something that happened recently?
6. May 2
What things from the past do you still blame yourself for?
7. May 3
If you are aware of these, and only if you were explicitly told about them, what things do others currently blame you for?
8. May 4
If you are aware of these, and only if you were explicitly told about them, what characters from your past blamed you for things that did not go the way they wanted?
9. May 5
How has your own character assassination interfered in your relationships?
10. May 6
If gossip is defined as a verbal conversation between two or more people who are involved in blaming others about things they may or may not have been involved in, when was the last time you participated in this?
11. May 7
If you refused to gossip, what might happen to your relationship with others in the group?
12. May 8
Have you ever walked away from an interaction that involved gossip? What consequences did you face?
13. May 9
Can being called a "goody two shoes" or someone who is "holier than thou" be another type of character assassination?
14. May 10
When was the most recent time you assassinated a character you know personally?
15. May 11
For the May 10 exercise, were the things you said confirmable, factual data? Or were they things you heard that you were passing on?
16. May 12
Staying with this same incident, what was your motivation for assassinating someone's character?
17. May 13
If someone makes a choice that you would not have made, is this something that truly warrants any type of criticism?
18. May 14
How do you feel when your choices in life are subject to criticism?
19. May 15
Is any criticism ever warranted?
20. May 16
If criticism is sometimes warranted, who is it that is the standard bearer?
21. May 17
If criticism is sometimes warranted, who is it that is the enforcer of the standard(s)?
22. May 18
If you were to speculate, how much of character assassination is steeped in the desire to control others?
23. May 19
What would it take for you to become that person who finally admits "who am I to talk?"
24. May 20
Is character assassination life affirming and supportive of others?
25. May 21
Is character assassination respectful or disrespectful?
26. May 22
Is it okay for anyone to criticize public figures?
27. May 23
Do you ever say things online that you would never say in person?
28. May 24
Is it okay for someone to be made fun of if it is done in a joking type of way?
29. May 25
Every character assassination has a cumulative effect. Each one cuts like a knife. Can you pledge to stop criticizing yourself and harming yourself in the process?
30. May 26
Can you pledge to reconsider the harmful effects of criticism and not excuse them as "just part of life, we all have to grow a thick skin"?
31. May 27
Character assassination is a specific type of bullying. Can you pledge to build people up and not tear them down?
32. May 28
Is it okay with you that many comedians target people in the audience or well-known people for put-downs at their expense?
33. May 29
If you stop quietly condoning this behavior and let it be known that you will no longer tolerate it, you may lose friends but can make new ones of a higher quality. Are you ready to move away from character assassination?
34. May 30
There is a belief that children can be quite cruel, and this has circulated through the collective for decades. What can adults do to promote more soulful behavior in children?
35. May 31
What is your takeaway from the May reflections on character assassination?
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